Boundaries part 2

 

This month has been one of those where I felt both stretched and centered challenged, yet proud. It reminded me of just how important it is to walk with boundaries in one hand and love in the other.

First up: my cousin's birthday. I’d budgeted a reasonable amount for a gift, nothing too extravagant, just a heartfelt token of celebration. But he had his eyes set on something four times the cost. For a moment, I felt that familiar tug the one that says, "Just top up, prove your love, make the sacrifice." But this time, I paused.

I calmly shared my budget and offered three options: he could use what I had and top up, we could find something else within the budget, or he could shop around for a better deal. He picked the first option, and it was a win-win. He got his dream gift, and I got to stay on track. Even better, I left that moment feeling proud not just because I stayed within budget, but because our relationship held space for honesty, clarity, and care.

Later in the month came another test: a bridal shower. The cost for attending was a bit steep and while I technically had the money, it was earmarked for something I’d planned for months. Still, there was this pressure: “But it’s your friend’s special day… you have to show up… prove it!” I almost told a small lie and claimed I was unavailable until I realized that wouldn’t hold up if the date changed (which it did, by the way!).

So I did the hard but right thing. I called the planner and respectfully bowed out. I shared my reasons honestly, then planned a small, heartfelt gift within my budget for the bride-to-be. It may not have looked like a grand gesture, but it was one wrapped in truth and respect. And I’ve found that those are the most meaningful gifts of all.

Boundaries don’t mean you love people less they mean you love wisely, sustainably, and with intention.  I’m learning that healthy relationships whether family, friend, or romantic shouldn't depend on over extension or silent sacrifice. They thrive when there's room for both honesty and empathy.

If someone is brave enough to say, “I can’t afford this right now,” the right response isn’t shame or silence. It’s grace. Because when we bulldoze our budgets for approval or bend our limits for appearances, nobody really wins. You end up burnt out, and the person you’re trying to please? They can sense the resentment.

Today I gave from a place of strength not strain. And in return, I felt joy.  That, in my book, is a celebration worth having. 🥂