The Forgiveness Tightrope

 I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. Let's be real, it’s rarely easy. Whether we’re the ones feeling deeply wronged or the ones standing on the other side, begging for grace, it’s a complex dance. We often feel like the victim in our own story, and that’s valid. But the tricky part is, we never have the full 360-degree view of the situation. We don’t always know the silent battles, the unspoken pressures, or the simple human error that led someone to that breaking point.

Sometimes, forgiveness comes easily. Maybe you’ve done the hard internal work, or perhaps you’re just not too emotionally entangled in the situation. You can extend grace almost effortlessly.

But then there’s the other half of that famous phrase: forgive and forget. Ah, the forgetting. That’s the real challenge, isn’t it? Our minds love to replay the hurt like a movie we never bought a ticket for. We analyze every angle: "If it were me, I would have never…" "The only reason they did this is because they don’t truly care." We convince ourselves that a person who loved us couldn't possibly have caused such pain. It’s so easy to say the words, "I forgive you," but to release the memory of the hurt? That’s a monumental task.

I learned this the hard way. I had a situation where I truly believed I had done the work. I had forgiven this person, tucked the hurt away, and moved on. Or so I thought. Then, life placed them right back in my path, and they did the exact same thing that had hurt me in the first place.

In an instant, all those resolved emotions came flooding back. The hurt, the anger, the betrayal—it was all there, raw and fresh. It was a stark awakening. I realized I either hadn't done the work as thoroughly as I’d believed, or the work itself is just that difficult.

I have so much respect for anyone who navigates this process from beginning to end. For me, it was disorienting. The impact was real, I fell out of balance with my meditations, my routines, and the healthy habits I had meticulously built for four years. It felt like everything crumbled in a snap.

So, this is a celebration of the try-ers. The ones who get back up after a setback in their healing journey. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a practice. It’s okay if it’s hard. It’s okay if you have to forgive the same thing more than once. The credit is in the continuous effort, in choosing to not let the past harden your heart, even when it tries its very best to. You’re still here, and that in itself is a victory worth celebrating.