Mindfullness in places of work.

This week, I found myself reflecting on my conversations at work and, more specifically, how much I sometimes discuss workplace situations and the people involved in them.

It started when I noticed that I had been sharing quite a number of work-related frustrations with colleagues. Sometimes it would be about something that happened in a meeting, a decision that had been made, how someone handled a particular issue or just something that had not gone as expected. These conversations would happen naturally as part of our interactions, and I didn't necessarily think much about them at the time.

However, at some point, I started asking myself whether I was simply discussing work or whether some of these conversations were slowly becoming gossip. That question made me uncomfortable because I don't consider myself someone who goes looking for information about other people or deliberately tries to engage in gossip. Most of the time, I am responding to situations that have happened around me or discussing things that directly affect the work we do. I also work in an environment where I sometimes sit alone in office, so when colleagues come around, conversations naturally happen.

But I also realised that having a legitimate reason to be frustrated does not automatically mean every conversation about that frustration is necessary. There is a difference between discussing a situation because it affects the work, trying to understand a decision or finding a way forward, and repeatedly talking about someone's behaviour simply because it annoyed you. Sometimes, without noticing, a conversation can move away from the actual issue and become more about the person involved.

I also noticed that I had been carrying some of these work conversations home and discussing them with my mum. Again, it was usually just sharing what had happened during the day, but it made me think about how much space I was giving workplace frustrations outside the office.

One thing I am learning is that being mindful of my conversations does not mean I have to become overly cautious or stop expressing myself. I don't want to get to a point where I am constantly monitoring every word I say or worrying that every discussion about a colleague makes me a bad person. That would be taking self-awareness too far.

Instead, I want to become more intentional. I can discuss decisions without attacking personalities. I can express frustration without turning someone into the subject of unnecessary commentary. I can also recognise when a conversation has served its purpose and there is no need to keep revisiting it.

Another thing I am learning is that not every thought needs to be shared, and not every frustration needs an audience. Sometimes, it is enough to acknowledge that something annoyed me, understand why it did, and decide whether anything actually needs to be done about it. I think the bigger lesson for me is that the kind of professional relationships I want to build should also be reflected in the conversations I have when the people being discussed are not around.

I don't expect to get this perfectly right every time. We are human, and sometimes we need to talk things through. But I want to be more conscious of the difference between processing a situation and unnecessarily talking about someone.  Going forward, I want to keep the honesty, the openness and the ability to have a good conversation, but with a little more intention about what I contribute to it.

After all, being a good colleague is not only about how I treat people when they are present. It is also about how I speak about them when they are not. 🌿